Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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