i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
