Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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