So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
