He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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