I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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