That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
