i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize