who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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