I accidentally had phone sex last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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