That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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