what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
