At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
