I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
