so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
