She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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