Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
