I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
