i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You have to summon your inner elephant
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
