Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im part way to drunk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
