How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
