return my video game
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
