I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
