don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The best revenge is premature balding
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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