Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
