look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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