She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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