why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I will be naked everywhere
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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