for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Houston, we have a squirter
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
