a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
