I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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