please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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