No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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