Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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