So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
