I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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