unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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