no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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