dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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