OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
