You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
