ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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