There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Small penises have feelings too.
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Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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