He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
well you can't waste a boner
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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