Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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