fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
