I'm lost and stupid without you.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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