I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
