I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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