Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
