ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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