Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
