We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize