dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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