Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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