At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
