If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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