a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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