could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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