why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
pop tarts are not kleenex
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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