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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

  Fav 23 1179 2343

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck

  (734): View more from Michigan

  omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore

  Fav 32 1155 4227

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• (818): View more from California

  She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

  Fav 32 990 6180

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

  Fav 20 1365 4994

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

  Fav 5 3040 1317

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.

  Fav 17 3125 935

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.

  Fav 2 1762 723

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob

  Fav 5 1227 487

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• (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

  Fav 2 1853 634

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

  Fav 3 517 689

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper

  Fav 1 332 600

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

  Fav 2 609 408

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis

  Fav 0 175 88

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