I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dicks are not precious.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
