i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
