If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
