Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
