no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
