Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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