I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
