waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
