I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?