Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.