Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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(916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off? http://tfl.nu/zq3l

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(512): View more from Texas

stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

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(512): stuffed animals make me feel really maternal. http://tfl.nu/jnap

Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (2280)
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(937): View more from Ohio

bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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(937): bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome http://tfl.nu/t5r7

Replies (62) Good night (7765) Bad night (1378)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex

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(978): i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex http://tfl.nu/k76b

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(303): View more from Colorado

Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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(303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn

Replies (12) Good night (6866) Bad night (1380)
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(541): View more from Oregon

New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.

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(541): New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss. http://tfl.nu/x43e

Replies (11) Good night (4222) Bad night (881)
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(419): View more from Ohio

So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1

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(419): So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1 http://tfl.nu/tz8w

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(804): View more from Virginia

Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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(804): Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster. http://tfl.nu/ns19

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines

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(603): Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines http://tfl.nu/hhep

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.

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(724): They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now. http://tfl.nu/wmrg

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(512): View more from Texas

Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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(512): Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick. http://tfl.nu/ysyl

Replies (12) Good night (620) Bad night (3364)
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(516): View more from New York

When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.

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(516): When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners. http://tfl.nu/d16h

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.

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(203): Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker. http://tfl.nu/9u82

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(757): View more from Virginia

Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?

(540): View more from Virginia

One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...

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(757): Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something? (540): One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend... http://tfl.nu/ltk8

Replies (0) Good night (798) Bad night (369)
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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

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(703): My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud http://tfl.nu/n09m

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