Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

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  (719): I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work http://tfl.nu/axgl
  Replies (14) Good night (3578) Bad night (810)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.

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  (843): Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind. http://tfl.nu/e2m5
  Replies (25) Good night (4765) Bad night (654)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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  (512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx
  Replies (26) Good night (6166) Bad night (1030)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.

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  (905): They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend. http://tfl.nu/j59u
  Replies (4) Good night (1929) Bad night (2955)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.

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  (404): she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it. http://tfl.nu/n6h2
  Replies (18) Good night (3553) Bad night (1052)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  pills.

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  (316): I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult. (1-316): So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message? (316): pills. http://tfl.nu/hrkg
  Replies (3) Good night (1439) Bad night (684)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT

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  (902): WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT http://tfl.nu/q56u
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (2576)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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  (321): Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games... http://tfl.nu/gpo9
  Replies (6) Good night (758) Bad night (1523)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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  (303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1233) Bad night (441)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.

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  (970): Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/jvs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (409)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2370) Bad night (457)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story

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  (254): Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story http://tfl.nu/vkqr
  Replies (6) Good night (1139) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (259)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am

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  (506): Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am http://tfl.nu/i89z
  Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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  (925): You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/o6o5
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (145)

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