Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4755) Bad night (859)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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  (479): Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke. http://tfl.nu/d4y7
  Replies (7) Good night (2824) Bad night (1286)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5215) Bad night (2418)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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  (204): I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake. http://tfl.nu/a9s8
  Replies (3) Good night (2130) Bad night (929)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

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  (313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59
  Replies (10) Good night (3437) Bad night (1245)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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  (519): You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard http://tfl.nu/bgm2
  Replies (7) Good night (2599) Bad night (899)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?

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  (405): All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/wsyz
  Replies (12) Good night (2460) Bad night (698)
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  (637): View more from

  I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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  (637): I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night http://tfl.nu/nv4l
  Replies (0) Good night (1361) Bad night (548)
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  (556): View more from

  I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.

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  (556): I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk. http://tfl.nu/emsu
  Replies (5) Good night (583) Bad night (1558)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.

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  (520): This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings. http://tfl.nu/9nj8
  Replies (6) Good night (1910) Bad night (605)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1358)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant

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  (609): Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant http://tfl.nu/a3fb
  Replies (5) Good night (366) Bad night (1022)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.

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  (818): I think my AA sponsor just booty called me. http://tfl.nu/z94l
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (467)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.

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  (757): You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast. http://tfl.nu/zvdo
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (245)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl

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  (978): someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl http://tfl.nu/1f6d
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (253)

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